Welcome back, everyone. I know that’s been quite a while since my last post but we’ve had a tragedy happen here at The Fox Den and I couldn’t really do much of anything let alone put how I was feeling into words. I still don’t really know how to talk about it or write about it; it still breaks my heart to think about it. Cana passed away.


We picked her up from the airport on Friday and she started vomiting on Wednesday. We took her to the vet and they told us that she had parvo. Parvo, or canine parvovirus, is a highly contagious virus that affects the intestinal tract and white blood cells which results in vomiting and diarrhea to the point of severe dehydration or infection because of the attack on the white blood cells and lowered immune system. There is no cure, there is only supportive care. That means that the vets can support the body until the virus runs it’s course or until the puppy passes away.


We did everything we could for Cana. We spared no expense. She was at the vet during the day and at the emergency clinic at night getting IV fluids, antibiotics and anti nausea medication. She was getting better Monday morning, she wasn’t as lethargic, she was starting to show signs of improvement… and then her heart just stopped. Her little body just couldn’t take it. We went to pick her up on Monday evening to bring her to the emergency clinic for the night and the vet told us that she had died. It was the worst, most gut-wrenching moment when the vet told us the news.


We only had her for 10 days but we loved her so much in that time. From the moment we picked her up from the airport we were hooked. I don’t know how to put into words how profoundly her life impacted ours, even though we knew her for such a short time.  I loved how she would roll onto her back for belly rubs and hide her face under her little paws when she was sleeping. I love how she would whine to come up on the couch so she could be close to us. I loved watching her sleep.


I’m so angry. We wanted a puppy so much, I’ve been counting down for so long, we were so prepared, we did everything right. And then she got sick and we still did everything we could to save her. There are so many people out there in the world that have a dog that they take for granted, that they get on a whim, that they don’t love, that they give away or put up for adoption when things get tough.  As soon as we met Cana we knew she was our family and we’d do anything for her. It’s just not fair and I’m angry at the universe because this happened to us and to Cana.


She got so sick; it was so hard to watch. We went to visit her at the vet for hours every day and we just saw her get sicker and sicker, losing weight and her will. When we picked her up from the airport the first thing I said to Brandon was, “I just want her to be happy” and I honestly can’t say if she ever was truly happy. She was just starting to settle in and get to know us when she got sick. I don’t know if she knew how much we loved her.


People who don’t have pets won’t understand how devastating it is. They don’t know how they are your family. I don’t really know what to do from here. I don’t know how people go back to being normal after something like this. How do people move on like nothing happened?  The only solace is that we did everything we possibly could. That being said, she still passed away so I don’t know how much solace that is. I just miss her and I want her back.


She will always be our first dog and she will always have a special place in our hearts. I don’t know what we’ll do from here but I know that will never change. As hard as this time has been for Brandon and I, the love and support that we’ve gotten from friends and family has honestly really helped. To everyone out there that went through this with us (you know who you are) thank you, thank you, thank you. Cana had so many people rooting for her while she was sick. If love could have healed her, it would have.

Thank you again for the support. I love you all.


28 thoughts on “Cana

  1. I stopped by to see if you had any new movie recommendations and came across this. This is absolutely gut-wrenching. I’m so sorry you lost her so soon. I lost one of my cats Nov. 1 last year and still miss her…

    As a Christian I wondered if we will see our pets in Heaven, and I did a little research and came across a slew of videos on youtube of Christians who strongly believe we will in-fact see them again. If you look up “Pets in Heaven” on youtube you can peruse thru these videos for yourself if you’d like…

    GENESIS 9:8-10 — And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying, And I behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you; and with every living creature that is with you, of the fowl, of the cattle, and of every beast on the earth with you; from all that go out of the ark, to every beast of the earth.

    I believe this includes our dogs and cats. I think this includes the cat I lost last year – and I think this includes Cana. 🙂 I believe animals are important to God, after all, they are His creation, and He wouldn’t have created them if they weren’t important.

    Unfortunately, the current state of this world is full of death, so we all have to endure it; every human and every animal. But at the appointed time, Jesus will come back and recreate the earth and take death away, so that we may live freely among God and His followers, and animals, but it will last forever this time – the way God intended life to be in the first place.

    Here is a short video I found I hope may help you feel a tad better and offer a little peace:


  2. Oh sweetie, I’m so saddened to hear this. I’m sure though, very sure, that she knew you loved her, and that she was happy. I have 4 dogs at home, and the thing about dogs is, they’re all heart. Truly, 100% pureness of heart. They live for their bond with you, so she felt it, and it made her feel better. I’m sorry that you knew her for so short a time. It’s not enough and it isn’t fair. I’ve lived with the loss of loved ones, people and pets, and you never really get over it, it just gets a little easier to live with with time. I’ve lost 2 dogs – one after a long life and one not, and I’ve never forgotten either and thinking about them can still bring me to tears. And that’s the thing with dogs – you know going in that they don’t live as long as we do. We’ll always have to say goodbye. All you can do is love them while you have them. Big hugs. I know it’s hard.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So sorry for your loss. As someone who recently became a dog owner it’s hard to imagine how things were before Penny came into our lives and frankly I don’t want to think of how it will be without her.

    Best wishes to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am with Eric, “liking” this post is habitual for clicking the button.

    Ugh, I am so, so sorry to hear this ;( You guys were so extremely excited, and it really sucks that it played out the way that it did. This was awfully sad to read. My condolences to the both of you!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Obvioulsy I don’t “like” this post – it’s just kind of habit to hit that button. This breaks my heart to no end. I know exactly what you are going through and it’s not fucking easy. I still cry sometimes when I think about my first cat dying and that was in 2004. I’m so sorry to hear this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much for the support, Eric. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve gone through. We really just loved her so much and it was so hard to see her get sicker and sicker every day and not be able to do anything. Sorry to hear about your cat, I don’t think I’ll ever really get over losing Cana either.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve been thinking about you since I wrote earlier. People who don’t have or want kids that have pets – these are our kids. We love them unconditionally and they know this – I promise. Cana never knew anything but love and loved you so much.

        Now I’m crying thinking about all of this lol

        Maybe one day you can find someone else to give your love to!

        And yes – that night Sulu died was probably the hardest night of my life.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thanks again, Eric. Sorry I didn’t respond to this earlier, I had to take a step back from all of it for a while but you’re right, pets are family. And it’s like you said, Brandon and I don’t plan on having children so Cana was like our little baby that we had planed for and wanted so much. I’m in a better place than I was when I wrote this post but the sadness of losing her will never completely go away.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. It really doesn’t. I can’t believe how deeply this affected both of us considering we only had her for 10 days but she just wiggled her way right into our hearts. Sorry to hear about Freely. I wish we live in a world where pets never died.


  6. In her short little life, she was lucky to have you and Brandon as parents. Nobody would have loved her more. She knew how loved she was.
    Feel better soon. There is no time frame for grieving ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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